I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
