something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
