this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
