I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I want a musical about memes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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