Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have tasted many bathrooms
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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