I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
These tits shall not be calmed
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