what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
