did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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