you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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