I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
