Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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