Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize