wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
