do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
