theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize