I want to have your abortion
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Randomize
