She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
