That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
