And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
