One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am full of burrito and curiosity
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
