Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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