More tranny stories later!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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