i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
