Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
