Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
