wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
