True but thats because hes a fetus.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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