i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
