I'm really into asian looking animals
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
