now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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