Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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