Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
