I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize