i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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