New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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