i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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