...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
