just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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