dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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