so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize