i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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