He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
