Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
