Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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