Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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