I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize