A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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