You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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