mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
