Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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