nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
