Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
