So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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