I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Are we still banned from the library?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
