my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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