do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
