I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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